Tired... worth it?

Well, its that time again. The time of the school year that your sleep deficit catches up with you and your teachers decide that, since theirs has too, they'll make it easier on themselves by making you teach yourself... via homework. Luckily mine don't do that... too much. Instead, the program I'm in (run out of Britain if I'm correct, but a world wide program known as the International Baccalaureate, or IB) has decided that, my senior year, I should have a project in every class at once.
                   They call them "Internal Assessment", or IA for short. I call them Infernal (removed for content purposes) for giving it too us all at once. Basically its an in depth research paper. English has two: world literature papers. Math has one. (Seriously? A paper in math?) Psychology, which is my in-depth study subject, has one. The only class that doesn't (THANK GOD) is my language class. Ugh.
                              So now. Here is the question all of us Seniors ask ourselves constantly: is it really worth it to go through this much hell for what we think we'll get? I mean sure we'll get credit hours, but we'd prolly anyway. 13 points to out GPA is all well and good until you remember it's 20 points lower than it would be normally. (100 point system, btw) In depth, world-minded, intellectual education instead of bland factual stuff is all fine, but when am I really going to be hard-pressed to analyze to what extent Stalin's regime between world wars was totalitarian, citing evidence from social, political, and financial development and policies in the USSR at any point in my aspiring life as a physicist? or a writer? or a politician? (When will i actually have to think if i'm a politician? Isn't that like, against the rules of politics? Sure seems that way...)

                  So now here is the challenge I post to my readers: do this whole thought process for your position in life. Is what you fight through worth it? If not... why the hell are you there?

             Let me word that differently. If you don't like what you're doing, and you can't stand it, and its not worth what it gives you, what happened to you dream? When did it disappear, and why? Is it still pursueable? If so, why wouldn't you? What is stopping you, and are you willing to get rid of that roadblock? What will happen elsewhere in your life if you did? Is that worth the dream you have? If not, why is your dream not worth it? Do you have something you don't even dare to dream that is worth it? Make that your dream. Redo the process. It's an amazing thing, trust me.

Mine, if you so care to see:

My dream is to write. It isn't gone, its just slow to start up: a book takes a long time to write. I'm already finished with my first treatment. Maybe its good, maybe not. Either way, this highschool thing has made me such a better writer its worth every last minute. It also forced me to grow up. A lot. And made so much in my life happen. It was and is worth every minute. Now for college: not so much. Am I going? Yes. WHY: because without it, if my writing is slower than i think, I'm screwed. Instead, I work hard in college, and take physics. Why? I love physics. not as much as writing, but enough to live with it. What else could I do? Motivational Speaker. Why? Because I can speak, I love the stage, I have a knack with getting a message across, and god do I love that stage. So now, College: is it worth a backup plan? Maybe not going to MIT, but Georgia Tech? Montana University (Montana Tech campus)? California Tech? All hell yeses. and MIT isn't a definite no, but its hard as hell. Montana Tech is so much closer to Serena.... Not to mention: no on cares where you do your undergrad. So is it worth it? Yes. Is it what I want? No. But I'm doing it anyway, because afterwards, life is more exiting and possible. And life is more exiting in Montana. (State Slogan of Big Sky Country).


Thank you all for listening to my blahber. Now to language Homework, then Hamlet.